Holiday celebration – with love, Meghan… and with even lower ratings

At this point her shows are less “festive special” and more “annual lesson in lowered expectations.”

Some Christmas traditions are sacred: carols, twinkle lights, pudding. Apparently Meghan Markle releasing yet another television special destined to be roasted alive on Rotten Tomatoes. Yes, Holiday Celebration – With Love, Meghan has arrived. Drifting in like a scented candle no one asked for. And the reviews have promptly packed their bags and left the building like a reindeer on strike.

The steadily declining Markle cinematic universe

If you thought Season 1 of her Netflix series was “meh,” Season 2 was “oh dear,” then this Christmas special is “you’re kidding, right?” The downward spiral is no longer a trend but a full-blown seasonal ritual. It’s like each new project is competing in the Olympics of Underwhelming Content. And Meghan keeps smashing her own personal best.

The “friends” who were definitely paid to be there

One of the standout features of Holiday Celebration – With Love, Meghan wasn’t the décor or the recipes. It was the unmistakable parade of “friends” who were clearly hired for the occasion. Nothing says authentic Christmas bonding like a group of guests who smile with the enthusiasm of people silently calculating their day rate. The special tried desperately to present them as Meghan’s nearest and dearest. But the chemistry had all the warmth of a panel interview. Viewers at home could practically hear the off-camera reminders: “Act like you know her. No, really. Try harder.” In the end, the entire gathering felt less like a festive get-together and more like a paid focus group with better lighting.

Harry’s blink-and-you-miss-it cameo

Then there was Harry’s appearance — or rather, his cameo so brief it could qualify as a disappearing act. He wandered in. Then he delivered a couple of lines with the energy of a man who was promised he could leave as soon as he said them., Then he promptly exited the scene like someone late for an actual life. The highlight? When he casually revealed that Doria’s cooking is better than Meghan’s. A brave comment, considering he said it on her own show, in her own kitchen, while cameras rolled. But honestly, it was the most authentic moment in the entire special. A man telling the truth, fully aware he won’t be fed for the rest of the night.

Peppermint disappointment and other critic favourites

Critics have described the special as:

“a warm cup of peppermint disappointment”

“the longest hour of my life, and I’ve waited in the DMV.”

Some even said the lighting was flattering — unfortunately, that was the only thing. Viewers across social media confessed they tuned in hoping for holiday magic but instead got the cinematic equivalent of a lukewarm soy latte: technically drinkable, but spiritually offensive.

Authenticity, Pinterest style

Despite the heavy-handed PR campaign promising “authenticity,” the special reportedly delivered the emotional depth of a decorative bauble — you know, the cheap kind that shatters before it even makes it onto the tree. The festive activities felt curated by a panel of Pinterest mood boards. And Meghan’s monologues floated in with that familiar performative sincerity. Soft voice, intense eye contact, and absolutely nothing happening beneath the surface.

Ratings so low they’re practically subterranean

Let’s talk ratings — or whatever’s left of them. Each project she releases drops faster than Harry’s hairline. Season 1 at least had curiosity going for it. Season 2 benefited from hate-watchers. But this Christmas special? Even the hate-watchers have called in sick. At this stage, the viewing numbers are so microscopic they could apply for endangered-species protection.

One industry insider joked that Meghan’s next production should be titled “Declining Viewership: A Journey.” Honestly? She could make it a trilogy. And it would still pull fewer viewers than a test pattern.

But hey — at least she’s consistent. And isn’t consistency the true meaning of Christmas?

Season’s greetings to all… and to Meghan’s ratings, a good night. 🎄