Holly Valance speaks after her ‘anti-woke’ anthem gets pulled

And it’s just as clueless as you’d expect

In a spectacle that feels like a mash-up between Neighbours, politics and culture wars, former pop star Holly Valance has emerged.

Not with a nuanced argument about artistic expression. She’s given a defensively performative rant after her controversial song Kiss Kiss (XX) My Arse was removed from Apple Music. The track was released in late January to promote Senator Pauline Hanson’s polarising animated satire A Super Progressive Movie. It quickly became a lightning rod for criticism. And not just because it sounded like a parody gone wrong.

What followed is equal parts meltdown, self-righteous manifesto and a weird flex about free speech on The Kyle and Jackie O Show this week.

From pop star to culture warrior

This bizarre comeback began on Australia Day. Valance is now based in London and seemingly starring full-time in centre-right culture wars. She dusted off her 2002 hit Kiss Kiss and let rip with new lyrics mocking pronouns and progressive politics in the service of Hanson’s movie.

Despite the steaming pile of controversy — and whether you think satire dead or not — the track did burn through enough iTunes purchases to top Australia’s download charts before the streaming purge. But on Apple Music’s broader streaming service it disappeared without explanation, prompting Valance’s kooky defence of cancellation politics on national radio.

When culture wars sound like bad parody

Let’s be clear: Kiss Kiss (XX) My Arse — a revamped version of Valance’s 2002 hit Kiss Kiss — was crafted to mock what One Nation and its supporters deride as “woke culture,”. The new lyrics explicitly target gender identity and progressive politics. It included lines such as:

“You will respect my pronouns; not all ladies have ovaries, some have a penis”

The song insists there are “real biological women”.

Critics were quick to label the track offensive and transphobic. Her updated song was rewritten as satire of “woke culture,” but critics quickly labelled them transphobic and offensive.

The song briefly soared to number one on Apple’s iTunes best-seller list. This is a paid downloads chart, mind you, that Apple no longer uses as its main popularity metric. This means its success was very narrow and superficial.

But within days it disappeared from Apple Music’s streaming platform. The company offering no public explanation but there’s murmurings that it was because of obscene lyrics. Valance was not shy about voicing her irritation.

“Not enough brain cells” — Valance’s response on Kyle & Jackie O

Valance appeared on The Kyle & Jackie O Show on KIIS FM on Friday, 30 January 2026. Valance went all-in with her grievances. In a tell-all that felt less like thoughtful commentary and more like a culture-war rant, she said:

“It kind of helps you in the end, and they don’t realise that because there’s not enough brain cells between them.”

That was her take on the decision to pull the track. She basically accused Apple and its content moderators of collective stupidity. But conversely arguing that the whole fiasco had only boosted her reach.

She continued in a lecture-style monologue about free speech — as though invoking “free speech” excuses picking on vulnerable groups in a recycled pop tune:

“You’ve got to see the bigger picture, and just because this week might not be something you like the sound of, you want it cancelled… free speech should be at the top of your priorities, even if it’s with something you don’t like.”

Valance also took the opportunity on air to taunt “woke” critics. She portrays herself as a martyr for opinions that many Australians find deeply offensive.

It was less of a press statement and more of a reality TV confession. She was telling listeners they were too woke to understand irony while reveling in every lump of publicity.

To be clear, Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O themselves didn’t exactly challenge her harshly.They let Valance ramble unfiltered through her pet talking points about cancel culture, free speech, and political correctness. Their role was closer to amplification than interrogation.

Pauline Hanson’s film: a cultural flash point

Valance is not acting alone.

She’s hand-in-glove with Pauline Hanson, whose political brand has long thrived on provocative cultural messaging. The song was explicitly released to promote Hanson’s animated feature A Super Progressive Movie. It’s an 86-minute satire in which a dystopian “progressive” Australia (the Naarm Bubble) is upended by Hanson as prime minister. This is alongside stereotyped caricatures of progressive figures and identity politics gone wild.

Hanson’s film leans heavily into caricature rather than critique. It depicts everything from rainbow malfunctions to exaggerated “Aboriginal Intelligence” and endless jokes about victimhood. Critics say it’s spectacle masquerading as satire with neither nuance nor coherence.

Yet Hanson publicly celebrated Valance’s involvement. According to Hanson herself:

When Hanson’s team phoned Holly Valance to write a song for the movie, she “instantly said yes.”

That’s right: she didn’t debate the message, evaluate the themes or ask critical artistic questions — she simply agreed.

A troubling alliance: politics, influence and family

Valance’s evolution from pop artist to conservative culture warrior didn’t happen in a vacuum.

According to biographical reporting, her political profile climbed steadily after she relocated to the UK and connected with conservative circles. Her personal life – including a marriage to and recent split from, British billionaire property developer Nick Candy – placed her closer to politics than pop music. During this period, she aligned publicly with right-wing political causes and figures, including Reform UK.

Here’s where the snark writes itself: this is not just a random cameo on a culture-war soundtrack. Valance’s marriage to billionaire property developer Nick Candy pushed her into far-right circles. So while most artists leave their old hits in dusty MP3 players, Valance has remixed hers into a political meme-track. Seemingly because political controversy is now part of her brand. And because she can. That’s not activism, that’s influencer-era opportunism. It’s a cartoonish rebranding of a former pop star into a shock-radio culture icon funded by wealth and political connections.

This current crusade isn’t just entertainment — it smacks of political influence. Valance repeatedly frames her political commentary not just as opinion, but as guidance she believes others should take seriously. During other recent interviews – like with British broadcaster Dan Wootton – she has made broad statements about migration, leadership and national culture.

What’s more, she often couches her advocacy in terms that blur into questions about her child’s future in a world shaped by “woke” ideology. This is a tactic that’s familiar from conservative activism: appeal to parental concern to amplify cultural anxiety.

Valance is a vocal supporter of Donald Trump and Nigel Farage. She has become the darling of the far right because she promotes them whenever she can.

She told Sandilands she had seen the film

“I wasn’t expecting it to be as funny as it was”.

“I was howling, it was great fun”.

Valance said she strongly supported Ms Hanson.

“I think she’s a pretty extraordinary woman”.

“I know it’s going to be a long run for her to possibly become PM, but I think she’d make a great one.”

Critics aren’t buying It

LGBTQ+ advocates and cultural commentators have been quick to condemn the song’s lyrics and message.

Many argue that Valance’s rendition strips away any pretense of satire and instead traffics in mockery of vulnerable communities. Members of those communities have noted that using terms like “real biological woman” in pop music isn’t critique — it’s exclusion.

On the other side, some conservative pundits have used the controversy to argue Apple’s moderation policies are hypocritical. They allow violent or explicit content while removing politically charged satire.

Still, few mainstream critics see Kiss Kiss (XX) My Arse as anything other than a publicity stunt dressed up as protest music. Rather than elevating meaningful debate, this song and Hanson’s move simply stokes division.